For those who have read some of my Facebook comments about racing and nursing and weaning, I figure I’ll go ahead and share what’s been going on in our household and in my head. In short– doing what’s right for Remy and family is far and away more important to me than any race, A or otherwise.
The biggest issue we’re having is the many, many early morning wake & feeds. Generally, by co-sleeping this portion of the night, I’m able to snooze through most of them. Sometimes, though, he’s really fussy and squirmy and makes restful sleeping for both Mom and Dad in the relatively small bed not very likely. It’s those times that I just want to toss the kid into crib and get some quiet time to regroup, but he doesn’t take being separated from Mom at that time quietly.
In fact, we had a moment like that a few nights ago and learned that, yes, he CAN climb out of the crib himself. Now he’s got a crib mattress on the floor, which he’ll nap on and start his night on, but then he wakes up and runs into Mom & Dad’s room in the middle of the night calling out “Mom! Mom!” That’s when I either nurse him back to sleep in his own bed (a very temporary solution) or just pull him into bed with us.
The thing is– I don’t WANT to wean Remy. I’m not ready. After contemplating weaning over the past few days, I know this about myself pretty clearly. I’m pretty sure Remy isn’t ready either, but we could work with that if I were committed to weaning for whatever reason. One of my main concerns was that my husband was hoping I would wean sooner than later at this point, but after further conversation, his main issue is the lack of sound sleep from Mr. Squirms-a-lot-and-hogs-the-bed.
I’d like to get the guy sleeping more in his own bed, but I see that there will need to be a transitional period where Mom joins him in his bed. Because it’s hard for Mom to fit on a crib mattress, we’ll pull out a twin size air mattress and see how that goes. I think that so long as everyone’s getting enough bed space, things will go more smoothly for all involved and eventually, I might be able to let R sleep solo for gradually longer periods of time.
None of this includes any weaning, although if I could convince the little guy to feed less through the night that would be great. However, I’m pretty sure that his nighttime demands are a reflection of Mom being the one who’s away or unavailable during much of the day. It’s his way to ensure he gets enough Mom connection.
I know that as he approaches 2 years old and beyond and is still nursing, there will be more side comments from a variety of sources about me “spoiling” him and whatnot, but I’ve never been the type to cave to other people’s uninformed and differently biased opinions. I like the idea of child-led weaning, but am not committed to it.
To make sure I’m clear– I’m just trying to do what’s best for my child and my family, not passing judgment on what’s right for anyone else. The Mom connection appears to be really important to Remy right now. Plus, he’s doing so well with his growth and development in other areas, I don’t see the need to burden him with society-driven issues about how old a child can acceptably nurse and it not be confused with sexuality in any way. I’m not confused about that. This is about nurturing and caring for my child and responding to his needs as an individual.
So that’s where we are. I owe a race report, so that’s coming, but I have billable work to do right now.