Thanks to Kerrie, I discovered the fancy schmancy official jargon for what my child is doing. But before you get all impressed by the title, it doesn’t mean that my 6 1/2 month old is riding a bike backwards. That would be pretty amazing, but alas, reverse cycling is something totally different. He’s doing much of his major feeding through the evening and early o-dark thirty hours when Mommy would kind of rather be sleeping.
This topic lends itself to the sleeping through the night issue. Early on, maybe between 1-3 months of age, Remy did sleep for a good 5-7 hour stretch on a somewhat regular basis. We didn’t do anything special. Just the usual breastfeed on demand. Then he got bigger and presumably needed more sustenance, then the night feeds got a bit more frequent. He also has been increasingly distracted during the day (there’s just so much cool stuff to do and see) that day time naps would get delayed and daytime feeds would follow an admittedly frustrating start-stop-start-stop pattern. Focus, little guy.
Lately, anytime I need to work, I have to hole myself away in my office and leave the childcare to my husband. Most of my work equates to time on the computer. If I’m on the computer, Remy thinks (demands) that he be on the computer too. Remy on the computer and work cannot happen at the same time, so this is time away from Mommy.
All of these things have conspired to create a situation where it’s in Remy’s interest to monopolize my sleepytime with frequent feeds. There’s more to feeding than pure sustenance. When he doesn’t get enough quality nurturing Mommy time, he lets me know. This means only feeding from bottles when he’s starving and only enough to take the edge off. I’ve read that some babies might learn to prefer bottles because they take less effort to feed from. We do not have that issue in our household.
So that’s where we are. He lets me sleep a little later before having to wake for the day about as often as I pry myself out of bed before I feel ready, so it’s not like I’m being traumatized by the situation or anything. I have no interest in forcing him into a specific schedule, letting him cry it out at night or any of that other stuff. I respect the natural wisdom of babies to know what they need when they need it for optimal growth and health. He had multi-day cycles of movement evident before I hit third trimester, so why should we all of the sudden expect every day to be the same? There will be enough crow-barring his wonderful instincts into society’s expectations later in life once he’s school-aged. No need to rush.
alicia — i am with you on this one. our instincts (ours as mommies and theirs as babies) are there for a reason.
although what i wouldn’t do for a full night’s sleep…seriously, kid, its been almost 8 months now.
zzzzzzzzzzz.
I’m with you on the not forcing and the instincts.
Angeline still eats during the night but I get sleep because we co-sleep. Doesn’t disturb me much. Not looking forward to the transition to crib- right now I can feed her and she’ll be asleep before she can start crying enough to wake herself up.. from experience, no matter how tired she is, once A is up she’s trying to explore and it will be an hour on a good day to get her back to sleep.
Hey Kate – I would be extremely surprised if I were sleeping through the night by 8 months. We are a little over a month behind you guys and couldn’t be further from that situation. Last night was another one of broken sleep. Tomorrow night will likely be the same, but with an early rise to go race. It will be tough, but it will work out. Fortunately, the race isn’t a super early start.
Heather – we start the night in the crib but I almost always move him to the bed in the wee hours for the 2nd-3rd feed so I can sleep through part of it. I’d have him in with us longer, but our bed isn’t that big and I can’t sleep as comfortably with him in there and often end up with a sore shoulder due to my awkward position.
Your post just gave me great insight into the current behavior of my 8-year-old daughter, whose instincts and scheduling we trusted through her nursing years, her Montessori preschool years, etc. It just occurred to me that my current frustration with her may very likely be a result of me not trusting her instincts and listening to her needs. She’s now a Montessori 2nd grader; she knows what she needs. Perhaps she doesn’t know how to ask directly. I can work with that. Thanks, Alicia!
I also agree on going with instincts. While Zach’s sleeping has improved and I got one night where he went from 7:00-4:15, he’s usually up at midnight and then sometimes again around 4:00. No amount of letting him cry it out is going to get him to go back to sleep, he’s hungry at those times. But considering how bad his sleeping pattern used to be for me, his current sleep pattern feels like I am getting a ton of of sleep. We are all crib all the time though, although I do fall asleep with him on the couch sometimes. For some reason it is incredibly uncomfortable for me to feed him in bed, I can’t get in the same lounging position I can get into on the couch.