My younger brother is still single living the bachelor life style. Working, drinking beer, swimming, drinking beer, etc. Recently, he got a dog whom he named Mandy (after Amanda Beard), because it would have been too obvious to name her Chick Magnet. He says the dog is helping.
I have to say he’s a real good sport about all the ribbing we give him, being the one in the family that has the lion’s share of funny stories to tell friends about. So in the spirit of family fun-ness, one of our Christmas gifts was a creative pack of items to enhance his “appeal with the womens.” Here’s the instruction sheet that Gary & I wrote up and included with the gift.
Gary’s OH-Fishul Lady-Ketchin’ Kit
1 studly temporary tattoo
1 USAT truck sticker
1 pair snazzy yellow suspenders
1 pair ultra-kool shades
3 hunkalicious sparkly gold chains
1 bottle of smelly stuff in the popular natural scent of “ripped abs
1 bag assorted endurance products
1.Affix triathlon sticker to bumper. It attracts the hot womens, like moths to flames. They will think you R a hot tri-stud.
2.Apply temporary tattoo to upper arm/shoulder area. Be sure to roll up (or tear off) your shirt sleeves so that tat is always visible. Also be sure to flex often.
3.Apply the ripped abs smelly stuff liberally. it is like magic, or gold. Maybe both. If you walk into a room and all of the womens start crying (and sneezing, you never know how attraction will demonstrate itself), you have on enough. Continue to apply until you achieve desired results.
4.Wear ultra-kool shades in all weather and conditions. Especially indoors and at night.
5.Always wear at least one the enclosed sparkly gold chains, but preferably all three. Be sure to wear your shirt unbuttoned to your belly button to highlight the golden sheen against your masculine chest. The womens dig that.
6.When on a Lady Ketchin Mission, be sure to wear the snazzy, yellow suspenders over the top of any shirt, coat or jacket you have on. What good are suspenders if the womens can’t see them? Be sure to flex your biceps when you show off the suspenders. You can also measure your biceps for additional effect because there is a ruler conveniently printed right on the suspenders.
7.Don’t forget that Lady Ketchin is an endurance sport. Always stay fueled and hydrated and be sure to keep your electrolytes in balance so you don’t cramp.
8.Happy lady ketchin’!
Disclaimer: Manufacturers, distributors, handlers, their agents and assigns are not responsible for anything that may or may not happen as a result of any sort of use or misuse as determined by anyone with at least one eye and most of their sense of smell. The final say in all disputes shall be decided by the guy that lives in the van down by the river, or if he’s not there, his dog.