A friend of mine wrote a race report of a race in which she did really well but had all kinds of obstacles in the lead up. At first I thought, why so angry? But I get it now. It’s an inside anger that you wouldn’t see from the outside, but the kind that steels my determination.
I’m just back from another ART appointment and tonight I run. This is the run that determines if I go to Kansas City or not. It could go either way. Thing is, in the meantime I’ve fully invested myself in doing this. I’ve prepared for months, I’ve spent lots of money on experts to make me better, and I’ve started to research the competition. Yes, I pull up some names of other 35-39 women on the start list and the results I find scare me. Which is good. I find that motivating.
So back to the anger. There’s nothing more that I want to do than go to KC and express this inner anger by flogging myself to my very limits on the race course. I’m invested now, but I run later and find out if I get to withdraw on my investment at Nationals.